The Only Straight I am, is a StraightUp Bitch
by VivaLaTiva
Summary: Second year starts off with a bang!
1. Chapter 1

'The only straight I am, is a straight-up bitch.'

* * *

**A/N: **It has been so long since I last wrote anything for fun…but considering my current addiction to Glee here I am on Fanfiction once again! I'm not even sure where this fic is headed yet, so bear with me! If you don't know who said the above quote...well, let's just say I'm doing a bit of a Santana finger no-no wave at you! ~

'No, no, no! I'm not taking this! You wanna see how we do's it in Lima Heights adjacent? Come here, I'll show you!'  
It was a crazy scene; Santana was ready to jump Rachel like a drug dealer in a back alley; Mercedes and Tina were holding her back, though her gesticulating arms were threatening to take both of them out; Brittany was sat in the back of the choir room watching the scene unfold, Santana would so be the guest on the next segment of _Fondue for Two_! Rachel was of course sitting at the front of the choir room in front of Santana, with a butter-wouldn't-melt expression on her face. Second year had started with a bang.

'Mr Schue! Are you going to say anything? This is threatening behaviour!' Rachel had shot her head to the side of Santana, noticing a bemused Mr Schuester entering the choir room, and had not wasted a second in complaining about the abuse she was receiving. Mr Schuester however seemed at first not to notice the disturbance – he was in a daze, having been back at McKinley High for no longer than an hour and already having encountered Sue a number of times, in which she had managed to insult him consistently; the same victims as usual, his sweater vest – 'Well, start as you mean to go on William. I just hope the pubescent teenage boy you stole that hideous vest from won't go on to supply your obsession for the whole year.' – his curly hair, - 'Was it raining this morning? Or did the elves push you into a puddle of gel.' – and of course, the glee club, - 'Y'know, I'd pray to contract some sort of hearing disease so that I wouldn't have to suffer this year, but I think I'd be making many more people happy if I just wished on the permanent vocal damage to your glee kids. What can I say? I'm a people pleaser'.

**A/N: **Just a short taster. I'll be continuing if people wants, so leave me some feedback. Muchos gracias.


	2. Chapter 2

'Mr Schue! Are you going to say anything? This is threatening behaviour!' Rachel had shot her head to the side of Santana, noticing a bemused Mr Schuester entering the choir room, and had not wasted a second in complaining about the abuse she was receiving. Mr Schuester however seemed at first not to notice the disturbance – he was in a daze, having been back at McKinley High for no longer than an hour and already having encountered Sue a number of times, in which she had managed to insult him consistently; the same victims as usual, his sweater vest – 'Well, start as you mean to go on William. I just hope the pubescent teenage boy you stole that hideous vest from won't go on to supply your obsession for the whole year.' – his curly hair, - 'Was it raining this morning? Or did the elves push you into a puddle of gel.' – and of course, the glee club, - 'Y'know, I'd pray to contract some sort of hearing disease so that I wouldn't have to suffer this year, but I think I'd be making many more people happy if I just wished on the permanent vocal damage to your glee kids. What can I say? I'm a people pleaser'.

**A/N: **I'm so weak, 2 reviews and 4 alerts is good enough for me! Yes I'm listening to the Glee soundtrack whilst I write. Coolness right here.

* * *

No-one really knew where the outburst had come from; Brittany was pretty sure that Rachel had insulted her popular, ground-breaking, _Fondue for Two _and Santana had come to her rescue; Puck was happily resting on the conclusion that Santana had caught Rachel mackin' on Brittany and that a girl fight would ensue; Finn and Quinn were busy making some music of their own, their relationship currently being on; and Lauren was looking forward to seeing Rachel take Santana down in an unfortunate twist of events. The whole issue was cut short – to Puck's disappointment – when Sue strode into the room. 'Quit your belly-aching Sandbags,' Sue's attention fell straight onto Santana, who upon realising that she had become Sue's first victim, dropped giving Rachel the glare and re-aimed it at her new attacker, 'and get back onto the shakes, unless you want a stomach like Fabray-by.' Santana looked like a wave of severe constipation had just hit her, the thought of a baby-belly hit her like a stack of bricks and she stormed out of the room in a fury. Rachel immediately began giving a monologue as if the whole room were listening, 'that's the thing with Santana, she can dish it but she can't take it...'

'Hey, William,' Sue placed herself next to Mr Schuester with a smile on her face, 'just thought I'd drop by before you started regaling the unwilling corridors with your "music".'  
Mr Schuester rolled his eyes, wondering if the torment would ever end, 'What do you want, Sue? We're kind of busy here.'  
'Yes, I can see that', Sue ran over the former scene in her head, her voice dripping with sarcasm, 'I just wanted to inform you about your budget cuts,' she raced ahead joyously before Mr Schuester could angrily interrupt, 'you see, Principal Figgins is tired of all the failure you bring to McKinley and feels that the funds would be much better placed with the Cheerios.' She winked at him as she back towards the door, 'When I say Figgins, I mean me!'

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry about the small chapters, but until I figure out where this fic is going I suppose this is what we're dealing with!


End file.
